"2nd heapin' helpin' of 3rd opera tour 2012"

   

   people, I wanna bring my third opera "hyphenated-man" around the u.s. again cuz there's some towns I missed last time. fuck, we're a big land and of course I'm gonna still miss some towns but that don't mean me, my bass and my missingmen (tom watson on guitar and raul morales on drums) ain't gonna try to do what we can... yeah, doin' it. joining us from october three to twelve will be lite - our dear buddies from tokyo, much respect to them.

   now if you wanna, here's how you can help me, tom and raul get the word out about this tour before we even leave pedro! each gig below also has a link that goes to a pdf file that's a flyer for each appropriate date. you can click on the link (or right-click to immediately download) and then print this up so you can put these where you think folks interested might be able to see it and be aware when we're coming and where to we're gonna work this piece this fall. no pressure on anyone but if you're so kind to do so, we sure would appreciate it much and be most grateful to you - a big THANK YOU in advance - we promise to play our our brains out!

a tour preview from uncle ray:



"CLOCKWISE IN THE FALL"


   There are the "W" rules of 'splainin' things and I looked them up:

   Who is it about?

   What happened?

   When did it take place?

   Where did it take place?

   Why did it happen?

   OK then: watt and his Missingmen are touring his third opera, Hyphenated-Man, again this fall from September 28th to November 9th in the states. Looks like the vaudeville tradition is in effect, where you go counter-clockwise in the spring and clockwise in the fall (start in the west, wind up in the west) weather being the motivator, and as I'm mildly dyslexic it might be the other way around-- anyway, look at a map of the United States and describe if you will a sorta ragged circle (with occasional double-backs) on the continent and imagine the weather as an ominous and capricious stray dog following your van with all the murderous indiffence of mother nature, who is not your friend. Hence the Fall Route. I think that's most of the "W"s right there, but the summation's gonna be a bitch--

   WHAT: is Hyphenated-Man, watt's 30 short-piece bucket of whup-ass opera (and it is one and you can fucking look it up) which he's played along with Tom Watson and Raul Morales for the past, I dunno, couple years if you count the time they spent crafting it, practicing it, getting it down, recording it, and serving it up what-- a fuckload of times? Math fails me and my interns died in an unfortunate treehouse fire, so we're going with a fuckload. They have played this a fuckload of times across the U.S. and Canada and the UK & Europe and now one last storming marathon windup back in the states-- OK, I think I got the WHY-- it is for the same reason watt keeps asking me to write things for him: he is obviously crazy. Look at the schedule-- if I'm figuring right, the 2-day 'break' is so he can fly from New York to Texas, fulfill his role as a Stooge, then fly to D.C. to resume the Missingmen gigs-- the astute observer will note that the first actual day 'off' for watt occurs four days before it's over-- and as it's between 'Vegas and San Diego, they being about a 5-6 hour drive apart, I figure he's got something lined up to fill the down time-- probably a side project.

   Which brings us back to Hyphenated-Man-- or Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Really. I used to drink with this actress who took the role of Martha in the play-- you know, the Elizabeth Taylor part-- and in the beginning she was scared shitless-- she had to get out there and whip that thing into shape in front of people by doing it. And doing it. And... you get it. By the last leg of the run she was fucking on fire, she had that Martha thing by both tits and was dragging it from one end of the stage to the other, slammin' it to high heaven for all the lucky gapers in the house, JUST NAILING IT TO THE FLOOR NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. Which is, I think, where watt and the Missingmen are with this thing. You, valued visitor to the site, owe it to yourself to check it out, this longer, tighter, crackling snakewhip thing, and you should feel deeply guilty if they come anywhere near you and you stay home. Remember the president we called Bush 41? That doink? One year he invited the Girl Scout who sold the most cookies to the White House and asked her what her secret was. She said "I look them right in the eye and make them feel guilty." Which is what the 'second heapin' helpin' of 3rd opera u.s. tour 2012' is doing right this second-- looking you right in the eye. Buy the cookies, sailor-- climb aboard. Guilt is a terrible thing-- not to mention the primary motivator of most of mankind. And there's this: you won't get to see it again. And probably not the fucking individual pieces, either, if the laying aside of the previous operas is any indication, and it is. He doesn't part out the sons of bitches like goner Fords on hillbilly lawns-- the whole thing goes away and then the retooling process begins for the next undertaking, if you will-- I have my theories about the motivations behind this-- low-grade OCD, superstition, mild autism, stubbornness-- all bullshit of course, but it drives watt crazy when I play amateur head-shrinker on him. "Every pitch has to be a strike, Uncle Ray? Every wheel has to get traction all the time?" he asks.

   "In the end, your only shot is to tell everyone, to blow the whistle on the nightmare. It will work for a while, no one knows how long. The worse the dream, the more demonstrative you must become. I took to the stage."

- from the novel Panama, by Thomas McGuane

-Uncle Ray