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THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the
fifth year of the caterpillar.  He found them carved in gilded stone,
while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for
they were written in a mysterious cypher.  However, after 10 weeks and
11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be
read by standing on his head and viewing it upside-down.

                       KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

    I  --   There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is  Your  Goddess. 
    There  is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and  it  is
    The Erisian Movement.  And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved
    home of a Golden Worm.

    II  --   A  Discordian shall always use  the  Official  Discordian
    Document Numbering System.
   
    III --  A  Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to
    go off alone and partake joyously of a hot dog on a Friday;   this
    devotive ceremony to remonstrate against the popular Paganisms  of
    the day:  of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday),  of Judaism
    (no  meat  of  pork),  of Hindic Peoples (no meat  of  beef),   of
    Buddhists  (no  meat of animal),  and of Discordians (no  hot  dog
    buns).

    IV -- A Discordian shall partake of no hot dog buns,  for such was
    the  solace  of  our  goddess when she  was  confronted  with  The
    Original Snub.

    V -- A Discordian is prohibited of believing what he reads.

    IT IS SO WRITTEN.  SO BE IT.  HAIL DISCORDIA!
    PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

[Illustration:
a burning scroll]

                   Test Question from Topanga Cabal
               (The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School):
         If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?

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