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A ZEN STORY

       by Camden Benares, The Count Five Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid-20th century America
confusing.  He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within
himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.
                                                                  
One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "Go
to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have
written down for you.  Do not speak to those who live there; you must
remain silent until the moon rises the tomorrow night.  Go to the
large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position
on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and
meditate."

He did as the Zen Master instructed.  His meditation was
frequently interrupted by worries.  He worried whether or not the rest
of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to
join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on.  He worried how
would he know when the moon rose on the next night.  He worried about
what the people who walked through the room said about him.
                                                            
His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his
faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him.  At that time two
people walked into the room.  The first asked the second who the man
sitting there was.  The second replied, "Some say he is a holy man. 
Others say he is a shithead."
                              
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

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